Lucky
by stavie93
Summary: A bad night helps Sawyer realize how much Juliet means to him. One-shot. Dharma times.


**Author's Note:** This sounded really good in my head...not so sure how I feel about it written out though. I could maybe turn this into something more than a one-shot if there's interest. Maybe a sequel or something. We'll see.

I've got a couple more Suliet story ideas, but I probably won't be able to write as fast as I have been. I just started a new job!

Please leave a review and let me know what you think about this one!

Also, if you've got any Suliet suggestions let me know! I love writing them and my last one (Beginning of the End) came from a suggestion someone gave. It was fun to try writing that way so I may be up for doing it again!

 **Disclaimer:** Lost is not mine.

 **Lucky**

Eight year old Jimmy Ford was hiding under his parent's bed as they screamed and yelled at each other not ten feet away from him. Daddy didn't know he was there, but Mommy did. She had told him to stay put and be quiet as soon as his father started up the stairs. _"I love you."_ She'd said before turning around to face her husband as he burst into the room.

His parents fought a lot, especially lately, but Jimmy could tell this time was different somehow. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears with his hands in an attempt to block out what was happening around him. But his hands couldn't block the two loud pops followed by two thuds of something heavy falling to the floor. There were several moments of silence before he opened his eyes.

He knew when he opened his eyes he would find his parents on the floor in a pool of blood, but when he actually did it, when he peered out between his lashes the bed was gone and the room was different. He wasn't eight year old Jimmy anymore. He was thirty five year old James, Jim LaFleur, Sawyer…take your pick, but not Jimmy. And instead of his mother and father in front of him it was Juliet. She had a look of pure pain on her face that broke his heart.

Juliet's shirt was stained red and she was lying in a growing pool of blood. Sawyer choked back his emotions. He reached out to touch her, to tell her it was gonna be ok, but she seemed so far away. Before his hand could make contact he watched as she drew in one last shaky breath before stilling. Her blue eyes seemed to dull, losing that spark that was so uniquely _her_ and they stared unblinking in his direction. Sawyer felt something rise inside him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or scream or hit something, but he couldn't handle this. Not Juliet. Not like this.

Sawyer woke with a start. He sat straight up in bed, his bare chest drenched in sweat. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and tried to control his breathing. He'd had plenty of nightmares in his time, but none like this.

The room was dark. He looked to the clock next to his bed. 1:30. If he wanted any chance of going back to sleep he'd have to see her. He had to know she was ok.

He slipped out of bed quietly and peered into the hall from his doorway. Her door was open as he knew it would be. They both slept with their bedroom doors open. It made it easier to talk to each other on the nights sleep was hard to come by.

From Juliet's doorway Sawyer could see her shape outlined under the blanket on the bed. He walked softly into the room. He didn't want to wake her, but needed a closer look to be sure she was ok. He was afraid that when he got closer he would find her eyes staring at him like they had in his dream and he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

Juliet was his best friend. He couldn't imagine being without her. At first he couldn't stand her and he could have wrung her neck for what she did to him and to Kate, but then the freighter happened and the flashes started. They learned to rely on each other quickly after that and the rest came naturally. Now, he couldn't imagine anyone he'd rather be stuck with in 1970's Dharma.

As he neared the bed he could see the slight rise and fall of her chest. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Juliet was laying on her stomach, her arms tucked underneath the pillow her head rested on. She faced Sawyer and he was once again caught off guard by how beautiful she was and how peaceful she looked in sleep.

Sawyer tried to always only think of Juliet as a friend or roommate, but if he were honest with himself he knew there were other feelings just below the surface. He'd known she was good looking since the first time he laid eyes on her and then promptly received a taser to the neck. Everything else grew over the year they'd spent in Dharma. He learned her motives, her reasons, her past, and what made her tick. He could no longer think badly of her for what she'd done on this island. She was just trying to survive. They both were.

And to top it all off she knew everything about him, too. Most of it she'd read in his file, but that was just the basics. He had shared things with her too over the last year and she never once judged him for it or acted any differently toward him. He was always sure that if anyone, especially a woman, knew all of his dirty little secrets they would run as fast as they could in the opposite direction. But not Juliet. No, she knew everything and yet she still smiled at him when he got home from work, she still had lengthy conversations with him about books, music, and movies. She even asked for his advice or opinions on occasion.

Sawyer had never had a real relationship with…well, anyone. Everything was always a con, a game, a lie. Until now. What he had with Juliet, Jin, and Miles was real friendship, something he never realized would be so nice.

As far as romantic relationships that weren't fake and were based on something more than money or just sex his record was nonexistent. He never thought it would be something he'd be interested in. Now, though, he thought he could be interested in it…if it was with Juliet.

But things between them were good. Really good. Although parts of him wondered what it would be like to kiss her, to taste her, to really feel her, he decided he was content with the way things were. He'd never been happier and he wasn't about to push his luck. Besides, he had no idea how she would feel about the whole thing. Things were better this way. Less complicated, he was sure.

Sawyer found himself standing right next to Juliet's bed. The room was dark, but moonlight shone through the window. He studied her face. Several locks of blonde hair had fallen across it and again he could tell she was breathing by the way they moved slightly with each exhale. Rationally, he knew she was ok. She was fine. It was all just a dream. But he still couldn't shake the fear, panic, sadness, and guilt he felt in the dream. He had been trying to reach out to her and she just died. He couldn't get the image of her eyes out of his head.

He took a shaky breath and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb her. He reached out and slowly tucked her fallen hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek in the process. It was warm and soft, not cold and still like part of him expected her to be. He sighed. He felt better, but he still couldn't get the dream out of his head.

Juliet stirred. Sawyer stood up carefully, hoping she'd go back to sleep. He really hadn't meant to wake her and she generally became very grumpy when her sleep was disturbed – something he had to learn the hard way.

She opened her eyes and yawned before noticing him standing there. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "James?" She asked quietly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He said just as quietly.

She took in his appearance. Boxers. That was it. He'd clearly just gotten out of bed. His hair was wet and his chest shiny with sweat. His expression though, that was something she hadn't seen before. Was that fear? Sadness? She wasn't sure, but she knew it wasn't good.

Sawyer broke eye contact. This was weird. She'd just caught him sneaking into her bedroom in the middle of the night. He turned to leave, but she grabbed his hand.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" She was sitting up now. Her voice was just as soft and quiet as it had been a moment earlier, but this time there was an edge of seriousness.

He considered saying nothing in return and simply retreating back to his room. He couldn't tell her he felt as though he'd just watched her die. He didn't want to _talk_ , but the look she gave him told him he needed to say something. She wasn't angry like he thought she would be at being woken up. She was worried.

He shook his head. "Just a bad dream." He said. _Please don't ask what about._

Much to Sawyer's surprise, Juliet didn't say a word. She kept a hold of his hand and pulled him back towards the bed. When he got close enough she scooted away from the side of the bed and towards the middle pulling him down next to her. Neither said a word and Sawyer wasn't entirely sure what was happening, but he followed her lead. He laid down next to her and she pulled the blanket over both of them before laying her head on his chest with an arm draped over his stomach.

Sawyer wrapped both arms around Juliet holding her close. She was real. She was alive. She was perfectly fine. He could feel her heart beat against him and her breath cooled his skin. He kept waiting for her to say something, but she was soon asleep. He silently thanked her.

This was what he needed. Not the fact that he was in bed with her. That had nothing to do with it although he had to admit it was nice. What he needed was the comfort and security she gave him. And she hadn't pushed. At all. He didn't think he could ever let her know how much that really meant to him.

Sawyer fell asleep after a while with Juliet by his side. He had a better night's sleep than he ever remembered having before. She was still there when he woke up.

Juliet woke up and looked at Sawyer. He was awake and he looked much better than he did mere hours earlier. He caught her studying him, concern lacing her expression. "You ok?" She asked.

He was quiet for a moment. Was he ok? "Yeah." He decided. "I'm good now." And he hugged her tighter.

Juliet smiled. "Good." She laid her head back down on his chest and he wondered how he got to be so lucky.


End file.
